Self-doubt, is it a curse?
Tuesday again and time is racing by. Trying to keep writing day after day I am now nagged by huge self-doubt. I’ve read about other writers doubting themselves, but right now I’m ripping apart my novel in my head and questioning my abilities.
Exhaustion is taking over and I’m learning the hard way. My steep learning curve feels like it is getting steeper. Being a complete novice here, I have so many questions but it appears there are no right answers.
The curse of self-doubt could bring a writer to a complete stop, I’m now trying to work through it.
So, what next?
Self-doubt is hard, there are few people in my real world who have read my work and said, wow. However, it could be argued that in the real world not many people have read my work. It is hard to keep things in perspective and keep self-doubt at bay. Trying to be positive when things feel so difficult, I’m at a point where negative feedback makes me cry. It is 75000 words of hard work, some of it I know is good, and some I already know will be deleted. It is also very easy to focus directly on the negative which is what I always do.
So, how do you get through this?
As a writer, all you can do is keep writing. Self-doubt can destroy you, and is why I haven’t added to my novel in days. My characters are currently buried in my head and laptop, and the world needs to read about them. I know that I need to keep writing but right now it feels a mess in my head. The story feels like it is evolving, and the more I think about it the greater it gets.
I’m now tempted to print it off and start retyping the whole story, trying to improve it on my second draft. However, my gut keeps telling me that I need to keep going forward until the story is actually finished.
Yes, as long as this takes, I need to work through self-doubt and keep typing. A word, a sentence at a time, the story will get written.
Staying positive
It is so important to try and stay positive, feedback can make me cry but I need to not let it upset me. People are generally trying to help, especially in the early stages of a novel which mine is.
Any advice here, fellow writers? How do you quieten self-doubt? How do you keep going when fear is nagging at you. I’m now thinking that I need to take a break, I’ve been advised that my characters will tell me how this novel ends. Worrying about it and doubting myself is not getting me very far. So now I need to relax and let them guide me, maybe time to make some notes and really consider where the story is going next, self-doubt helps nobody.
Facebook Live
Here are my Facebook lives from last week.
New blog post today – 24th September 2019
Today and blog poetry – 27th September 2019
Today
Sitting here now watching the ‘Fresh Prince of Bel-Air’, I know that I should be reading my book. Sat in my recliner, typing on my tablet, I’m comfortable drinking my tea.
My six year old started at a new school last Tuesday. I’m very proud of her, she is working hard and has already received a headteacher’s award. We are now enjoying reading higher levels of ‘Biff, Chip, Kipper, and Floppy’. If you have small children, you will understand what I mean about the ‘magic key.’ I feel it makes the story more intriguing for small children and it makes me more interested too.
Driving to school this morning, the children were both reading, which was lovely. My son was reading about aliens and my daughter, ‘My little pony’. They were both quiet in the back so it was a nice calm journey.
Anyway, so I’m now going to go, but before I go, have you suffered self-doubt? That little voice in your head that says that you can’t do it. Trying to remain positive is not easy but it is important to keep going and try and work on through it.
For more see, Motivation, writing prompts and family
19 Comments
fancypaperblog
I would be so delighted to have 75000 words under my belt. I just cannot see where the time will come to do it or if I will ever achieve it. You are flying it.
This post of yours is some of your best writing to me- it’s your voice. Pure and honest.
Sounds like you need a breather. Why not give yourself a little time off the schedule?
Marian Wood
Thankyou Orla! Right now I’m struggling with it and I’m sure you are right, that I should take a break. I’m scared though that if I do take time out then I won’t get back into my writing pattern. I am thinking though that I might need to take a step back from the novel as I’m not sure where I’m headed..
fancypaperblog
You will- you are dedicated. Then you can read your novel with fresh eyes!
Marian Wood
Thankyou x
Marje @ Kyrosmagica
I definitely do at times when I get a review/feedback which isn’t as good as some other ones. I shake it off by reading my 5 star reviews! It’s hard for a new writer. Keep on writing, reading and perfecting your craft. That is the beauty of writing, you learn all the time. You’ll get there Marian. 🙂
Marian Wood
Thankyou Marje for your support, understanding and encouragement. Yes there is so much to learn and to develop on. X
Marje @ Kyrosmagica
My pleasure Marian. Happy writing x
Amy Blair
From what I hear it is totally normal!! Don’t give up!
I suppose that is easy for me to say….I haven’t been doing good at all lately. But it is your dream and I know you won’t let it die.
Loved reading your post….as always.
Good luck this week!
Marian Wood
Thankyou Amy! I really appreciate your support and encouragement!
willowdot21
Marian you are doing so well, you have come si far. We all struggle with self doubt I have been riddled with it all my life. Just keep on going you will get there 💜
Marian Wood
Thankyou Willow x
willowdot21
It’s all true Marian 💜
Marian Wood
Thankyou!
Clive
Your dedication is to be admired. I fully intended to write when I retired six years ago but have still to get any further than my blog. Don’t doubt yourself: if it feels right, just do it! #SeniSal brought me here 😊
Marian Wood
Thankyou Clive for your encouragement! Yes the blog does take up alot of writing time.
InkSurf
I am not a author, but I write articles as a hobby. I want to be a good writer too. For my articles capture readers” interest and be everything good. Sometimes, I have felt whether they are good enough, is anyone even reading them ? Self doubt has crept in for sure.
For me, I looked for feedback , got the best out of the advice I got. As long as I am improving against myself, I am happy. That’s how i keep self doubt at bay
Marian Wood
Thankyou for your advice, yes feedback is always helpful. Yes, seeing improvement and development is always good, thanks.
Lorna
Please stop doubting yourself, and just keep drafting. I’ll echo what Willow said, you’ve come so far! xox
Marian Wood
Thankyou Lorna for all your support and encouragement! X